Don't Want To Lose You Page 3

  “Chris? Are you staying for supper?” Lacey asks, coming into the living room.

  I shake my head. “No, I only came by to see Lita, and to talk to you about custody.”

  Her face goes hard. “Put her back in the living room, I’ll set up the gate and we can chat in the kitchen.”

  I set Lita down and go to the sliding doors in the living room, checking to make sure they’re locked. You can never be too careful, especially with kids. Satisfied she can’t hurt herself, I step over the gate and find Lacey in the kitchen.

  “Before we start, how exactly can you afford all of this?” I demand.

  She shrugs. “Side jobs. Had money saved up from when I was a club girl at the old Satan’s Law MC.” Satan’s Law MC was the old name of the Angels Warriors. Once Angel, Zippo, and Reaper took over, they made sure to change every aspect of the club, down to its name. “For a few years after that, I was a stripper, and they pay big bucks. Then I dated that doctor that gave me an allowance for a while. After that all fell apart, I worked at the dealership, as you know.”

  “You mean to tell me you never spent any money?” I stare at her in disbelief.

  She shakes her head. “Never had a reason to. The men I dated paid for everything I ever wanted or needed, so my bank account just kept climbing.”

  “What are you doing for work now?”

  “The only job I could get in this town—cashier at the 7-Eleven a few streets over. Nowhere else would hire me.” It’s not surprising. The Angels have a lot of power in this town, and if they don’t like someone, no one else does. “Pay isn’t that great, but it’s enough to cover the bills.”

  I want to ask her why she didn’t just find a cheaper place to live, but honestly, not my business. Lita is my only concern. “Who watches Lita when you’re working?”

  “Nice older woman a few floors up. She only wants to be paid twenty a week, as long as I supply all Lita’s needs.”

  That’s a good deal. Moving on. “I want to be able to see Lita. And until I can figure out how to tell Trix, without her hating me forever, I need this to be kept a secret. I can’t have her finding out before I can talk to her.”

  Lacey stares at me, tilting her head to the side, but doesn’t say anything.

  I rub at my forehead. “Ever since I found out, I’ve been hurting my marriage, trying to talk to her, and I can’t. I know when she finds out she’s gonna kill me. I might never win her back, and I can’t let that happen.”

  “You really should have told her when it happened, you dragging it out is only gonna make it worse.”

  I snort. “No, what’s gonna make it worse is the fact that you named her after the child Trixie and I lost. That is what’s gonna make it worse.”

  She looks guilty for once, but quickly covers it up. “I’ll keep it a secret, but we can’t be cooped up in here forever.”

  “Look, people know you’re back in town, but if they see you with that kid, they’ll talk, and you and I both know the second someone see’s Lita, they’ll know without a doubt she’s mine.”

  She looks down at her floor, wincing. “It’s a little late for that, Chris, a few people have already seen her.”

  “Shit, who?”

  “Vinny,” she says quietly.

  Oh, fuck, that’s the worst person to know about this. Would he tell Trixie? “How long ago?”

  “About two weeks, I guess? I was at the store getting a few things, and he was there with Lilly. He saw me, glared, saw Lita and his face went grim. I don’t think Lilly knows because he kept blocking her view of me and then he rushed her out of the place.”

  Okay, maybe that’s good then. He hasn’t told Trixie yet, but that means I’m running out of time to fix this mess.

  “I have to go, but I’ll call you soon … to have Lita for a bit.” I rush out of her apartment and to my car. Punch the steering wheel.

  What the hell am I gonna do? Vinny won’t keep quiet for long, and I don’t trust Lacey as far as I can throw her.

  I make it back to my apartment quickly, but before I make it to the front of the building, I’m grabbed from behind and spun around.

  “Hey, Zippo,” I greet him.

  “You fucking dick rag!” Vinny roars in my face. He shoves me back, and I stumble. His arm goes back and he punches me in face. “That was for Trixie, be fuckin’ lucky the others don’t know yet, or you might wish for death.”

  He walks away and I stare after him, holding my nose as blood rushes out of it. I deserved that.

  I deserve that and so much more.

  Chapter 7

  Trix

  I had fun at the Angels’ clubhouse the other night, haven’t had a night out like that in a while. Lots of drinks, music, and people. I spent most of the night with Lilly, just talking about my blog. Now with Chris and I in this weird limbo stage, I need to find a real job. I can’t make money writing reviews and doing book tours.

  Lilly told me I should go to Eden, the president of the club’s wife, and see about working as a waitress at her diner. Seems easy enough since the place used to belong to Momma B back in the day, and I’d had a part time job there back when it was still just a bakery. When Eden took over it, though, she totally revamped it into a full blown classic diner.

  Lilly picked me up about an hour ago and took me to the diner to fill out paperwork. Eden told me I can start on Monday. Now we’re sitting in the noisy diner eating some lunch since Eden said I need to know the menu. Our table is full of food for me to try and get to know.

  “God, Lilly, there is no way I’m gonna be able to work here and not be as big as a house.”

  She giggles. “At least you’ll be on your feet the whole shift, so you’ll just burn off what you eat.”

  “That’s true,” I say, eyeing the chocolate lava cake sitting in front of me. Do I want to chance it and eat another bite? Yes, yes, I do.

  Suddenly the diner goes quiet and I feel people staring at me. I look up and see Lilly, her face pale. “Don’t turn around, Trixie. Please,” she pleads with me.

  I frown and look up, noticing people looking at me as if they’re waiting for my reaction, and others are staring at the front door looking pissed, glaring at whoever is there.

  It’s probably just Chris coming to grab a bite to eat, so I don’t get why they’re so worked up about it. But then I turn around in my seat and freeze.

  Standing there, staring straight at me, is Lacey, the town bike, the bitch that’s always wanted my husband. Seeing her just makes me want to roll my eyes. I didn’t know she was back in town. But what stops me cold, making it feel as if my body is being drained of blood, is the child in her arm. That looks just like my husband. Same blonde hair, same exact eyes, not just in color but in shape—eyelids on the bigger side. She even has his ears.

  “What the fuck?” I whisper out brokenly.

  Lacey steps forward, hiking the toddler up higher on her hip. “Hey there Trixie, how’s Chris?”

  I glare at her, trying to keep my temper in check.

  “You need to leave, Lacey. You aren’t wanted here!” Eden snaps at her, coming out from the kitchen area.

  “My daughter and I just wanted to grab a quick bite to eat. That’s all, not here to cause problems.” She looks at her daughter and smiles. “Isn’t that right Lolita, we’re hungry monsters and then we’re gonna go see daddy,” she says in a babyish voice. “She just loves Chris, he spoils her rotten.” She announces to the room.

  The air in the room feels as if I’m being suffocated. When she said her daughter's name everyone gasped, and Eden looked as if she was gonna snatch the kid out of her arms and beat Lacey.

  “You better leave my fucking diner now before I make you regret it,” Eden says, getting in her face.

  Lacey’s eyes narrow on her and she huffs. “Fine, Lola and I will take our money elsewhere.”

  Lola, Lolita, fucking Lola. I can’t breathe. The room is spinning. My heart is ceasing to beat. If that little girl belongs to my h
usband, it will kill me. They might as well start digging my grave.

  “Trixie,” Lilly says, rushing out of her seat and over to me.

  I struggle to speak. “I can’t.”

  “It’ll be okay sweetie. I’ll take you home. Come on,” she says, pulling me up.

  The diner’s noise returns, just not as loud, most people cursing Chris, saying they’re gonna kill him. Others saying that Lacey’s daughter needs to be taken away from her. I tune them out, I just need to go home, need away from the comments, the stares, and the whispers.

  This explains Vinny’s visit to my house. Why didn’t he tell me right then?

  Is this why Chris left me? Because of his child with Lacey? That child looks to be close to two years old. When did this happened? How did it happen? Is he still with her?

  So much is going through my head, and I don’t know what to make of any of this.

  Chapter 8

  Chris

  That phone call from Trixie a few days ago, asking if she should seek out a lawyer, has me scared. It’s only been three months; would she really just want it over that fast? Then again, look at me, I’m the fuck up that has a child with someone who isn’t my wife.

  Work is strained, everyone there doesn’t want anything to do with me. Lacey is constantly calling me, showing up at work, saying she wants to talk about Lolita. The bitch named our daughter after my dead one with Trix, so I can only call her Lita. Every visit Lacey makes always ends up with her trying to talk me into taking her out for a date, which is never going to happen. The last few days, Lacey has started to call our child Lola, and that has pissed me off so much, I made sure to put a stop to it. I feel like we travelled back in time and are watching the whole Kayla/Vinny/Lilly bullshit all over again. The only difference is I can’t stand Lacey, she was a drunken mistake that I can’t really even remember, and I’m married.

  I tried to reach out to Vinny for advice, but that ended with me getting a busted lip and a black eye. I didn’t say a word to him, except for ‘hey, Zippo,’ then I was knocked out.

  Once Jess found out what I did I was promptly kicked out of their place, and even Allan was in the dog house for a while because he failed to mention to her why exactly I ‘separated’ from Trixie. Allan did help me find an apartment downtown. It’s small, but it fits everything I need in it, and I have a room for Lita when she stays with me.

  Locking up my apartment, I decide to go out for something to eat. Spotting Eden’s diner just up the street, I jog there and walk in. The place is busy, but there are still a few seats available. After placing my order, I start playing a game on my phone when I hear her name.

  “That Trixie … fuck. Chris is such an idiot for letting her go. I get hard every time I see her,” someone says.

  “Don’t.” I recognize that voice. Officer Thrane.

  “Oh yeah, sorry. Mr. Chief of Police here has the hots for the newly separated, totally hot, Trixie Crescent,” the other officer tells the group they are with.

  I clench my fists on the table, forcing myself to stay seated.

  Someone lets out a low whistle. “Damn, she turned me down for a date a last month. Second, I found out she was single, I took my shot. Not sure what that fuck up Chris is doing, to just up and leave her like that with no reason given.”

  “Chris is a fucker, but his loss is my gain. Trixie is mine, you all need to back the hell off,” Thrane declares. “And there is a reason, Trixie just doesn’t know it yet.”

  Shit, does he know?

  “That asshole cheated on Trixie, just days after she gave birth to her stillborn daughter, and knocked up Lacey.” All the air leaves my lungs, and I struggle to breathe. How does he know?

  “How’d you know that? That can’t be true. Trixie is one in a billion, no man would do that to her.”

  “I know it’s true considering that’s the gossip around town, and the fact that Lacey herself is sharing the news far and wide, even showing off the kid. Lacey is a lot of things, but she’s not a liar.”

  I’m gonna strangle that bitch, she isn’t supposed to be telling anyone shit about Lita. I told her I needed to be able to figure out how to tell Trixie myself. I can’t have her finding out from someone that isn’t me. I shoot her a text – Need to talk. Urgent.

  Sure thing, baby daddy, she replies.

  Fucking hate when she calls me that.

  “Lacey is saying that? You can’t believe her, that girl is fucked in the head. I don’t know why the hell she bothered coming back to this town. The Angels Warriors hate her, all the women in town hate her.”

  “Truth or not, when Trixie finds out what Chris did, no way she’ll go back to him, and I’ll be there to pick her back up. Guarantee you this time next year she’ll be wearing at least one of my rings,” Thrane tells his buddies.

  His friends roar with laughter. “Dude, what the fuck happened to the Mr. Slut Cop?” one of them asks.

  “Found the one. When you know, you know.” Is all he says.

  Fuck this.

  I stand up and tell the waitress to bag my food to go and walk over to the table.

  “Stay away from my wife,” I warn Thrane.

  He smirks at me. “You don’t want her, but you won’t let anyone else have her?”

  “You don’t know shit.” I grab my take-out bag from the waitress and leave. I hate that fucking cop.

  The last few years I’ve seen him around town, always with a different woman, but it’s never stopped him from talking to Trixie, even when I’m around. He’s made it clear for years that he wouldn’t hesitate to have her.

  But I sure as hell ain’t gonna let that happen.

  Preston

  I watch Chris storm out of the diner and shake my head. “You know he won’t let you have her right,” Lenny states.

  I shrug. “Don’t give a fuck about him. He blew it with Trix, now I just have to wait until she’s ready and she’ll be mine.”

  “You serious man?” he asks.

  “Damn right I’m serious. I’ve never made it a secret that I was into her, I just didn’t make a move. She was a married woman. I’d be the biggest asshole alive if I made a move on her before now.”

  “Hate to point this out to you, but she’s still married.”

  I shrug again. “That really doesn’t matter anymore, does it?”

  “You’re sounding a little creepy man.”

  I chuckle. “Don’t mean to be. I just know what I want and I finally have a chance. All I can do is wait for when she’s ready.”

  Chapter 9

  Trix

  I make it home on autopilot. Lilly has tried to talk to me, but I ignore her. Chris not only cheated with the town bike, he knocked her up, had a daughter with her, and named her after my daughter. Who does that? How is it fair she has a beautiful little girl when I lost mine?

  I stand in my kitchen, looking at the wine Lilly poured for me. Grabbing it, I dump it into the sink and go for the bottle of vodka.

  Lilly, who still hasn’t left, just stares at me, then rushes to get two glasses and some pop. She doesn’t say a word as I mix my drink half and half.

  “You want me to call your parents or something?” she asks as she sips her drink.

  I shake my head. “You don’t have to stay with me, go home to your kids.”

  “Nope, my mom is watching them tonight. I know, why don’t we have a girls’ night? I can see if Eden can come over after she closes her diner down and if Moira can come. What about Kristi? I heard she’s back in town for her sister's wedding.”

  I would love to call Kristi, even Ava, but with how we ended our friendship, they’re the last people I want to contact right now. I didn’t even contact them when Lola died. Our friendship is well and truly over.

  “I don’t know if I want people over, Lilly.”

  “Nonsense, we can have a man-bashing ladies’ night. It’ll be fun. We’ll get drunk, order pizza, and watch some horror movies.”

  “That does sound fun, I
guess.” It will help take my mind off this nasty shit.

  “Okay, you go relax, I’ll call up people and get food ordered and one of them can pick it up on their way.”

  I go to the living room just as my phone starts ringing. Please don’t be Chris. Thankfully it’s not, it’s my mom, but shit, that might be worse.

  “Hello?”

  “Sweetheart, are you okay? I just heard the news. I can’t believe he would dare do something like this, and what is that trashy woman thinking? Naming her after your precious Lola.”

  “I really don’t want to talk about this today, Mom. Lilly is arranging for me to have a girls’ night tonight, so please, can we talk about this some other time?”

  Hopefully never.

  Mom goes quiet and sniffles. “Okay, sweetie, I’ll call you later this weekend. I love you.”

  Hanging up, I’m so relieved she gave in so quickly. Usually when I try to hang up the phone, she keeps talking. I hear Lilly on the phone still and relish in the peace and quiet for the time being, but it’s short lived when I get another damn phone call.

  “Hello?” I sigh as I answer.

  “Are you and my son back together? He won’t answer my calls or return my texts, is he there now? Put him on the phone,” my bitch of a mother in law shouts.

  “No, we’re not together and probably never will be. Considering I’m just finding out the bastard cheated on me in less than a week after Lola died two goddamn years ago, and now has an almost two-year-old daughter named fucking Lolita, with the town bike, our marriage is over. Don’t bother me again!” I snap at her and hang up.

  I chug the rest of my drink and go back to the kitchen to make another one.

  Lilly just stands there, staring at me in shock. “Um, the girls will be here soon. Moira is bringing the Pizza, and Eden is bringing her Chucky collection, including the new one.”

  I whip my head around and smile at her, feeling slightly tipsy already. “Great, sounds like fun.”

  “You okay?”